Today, the sun is shining at its peak. It’s the best time to be merry (not after a week of rain and gloom)... but right now, I feel at my lowest. I want to cry. Again. In silence. It’s one of the days when I get to see myself in the midst of my decisions and the midst of the choices I’ve made.
As if it was just yesterday when I met you, as if it was just yesterday that you sat beside me and asked me this word you barely understood, as if it was yesterday that you kept bugging me to join you for dinner, to go watch a movie, or to do something extraordinary, as if it was yesterday that you held my hand for the first time after so many months of being together, as if it was just yesterday that you stood in my defense over something... as if it was just yesterday that I got to know you inside out. AS IF IT WAS JUST YESTERDAY...
It’s just barely two weeks since you’ve been back, and you say you’re leaving again... and this time, you’ll leave me hanging, not knowing when you will be back. I knew this was coming. That was part of the deal. I had my mind ready for this... I know I will get over it... but guess what, it’s slowly sinking in... that maybe, I CAN’T... you have shown me how life is... how it should be... you taught me how life could surprise me and that all I need is to hang on... you taught me a lot of things... and that I am so grateful.
You were one of the people who have painted my life with colors unknown to men. And I don’t know if in the midst of this painting, I’ll start learning to let go even if it is yet unfinished...
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