Friday, December 18, 2009
BITTERSWEET
I've survived another year knowing that life goes around. I never analyzed the nitty-gritty details of how life puts you in the right perspective until the inevitable happens, until you realize that our life is indeed numbered.
I lost my friend, my roommate, my sister. She was eaten up alive by the mountains when Pepeng hit Benguet last October. No words could describe how my world turned upside down. I've never seen her for two years. We talked, we cried, and we laughed together despite the distance. We both planned to meet this Christmas. But looks like this Christmas will be different.
I found my partner. This year, I fell in love with the same man thrice. The first time is when he dropped me off to the airport. I loved the way he just stared at me on my way up to boarding area. The second time was when I knew he wanted to pick me up from the airport even when Ondoy was strongly hitting the ground. The third was when he knew I wasn't feeling well and he came barging in the house; first smiling at my friends then second wearing that worried face when it was just me who was in front of him.
Kids. I held a baby last night. He was still amidst the noise of people who were busy partying. He was just there sucking his thumb and laying his right cheek on my right shoulder. If a photo was taken, it would seem like the perfect family. S, me and the baby. I realized then that I would love to have my little lou someday.... soon...
I've finished my MS degree. A degree I worked painstakingly for the last two years, with hurts and pains on the side. It was one thing I was proud. But a friend reminded me that my degree shouldn't confine me on sitting a chair and signing and writing stuff. Being a sister, a friend, a mother is career in itself.
I could write lots of things, but one thing is for sure.... LIFE REALLY DOESN'T TURN OUT THE WAY WE PLAN...
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
LETTING GO...
I have been expecting things for almost my entire life. Things that would bring justice to where I am or simple things that would sweep me from the sanity of which I am boxed in…
There were choices I had to make; some didn’t turn out so well. But that doesn’t mean I regret doing them. I believe that without those who have been part of my choices, I won’t be who I am today…
Right now, I am going to make a big one.. a major choice.. One that says “do or die…” (something to that effect, forgive the exaggeration). People might say that it won’t be for me or am far better of without it or they can’t just picture me being there or something… But what they don’t see is the simplicity of it all.
They see complications. I see simplicity.
They see fear. I see chances to overcome them.
They differences. I see similarities.
They see dominance. I see fair share.
They see things from different perspectives. I see only one thing.
I get that they are scared. I get that maybe this isn’t the time yet. Well, good news, there’s no better time than now, I believe that it’s time to let go…
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
STRESS
I was about to rant on my zits and how I got frustrated on having an underarm wax tapos makakabasa ako ng comment dito sa blog ko. Ako naman, eh di mega patol at nakinig sa kantang Wedding Dress (which, by the way is a good song)... Pero naman, ang message naman... pwede? nakakapressure. Nakakadagdag sa pimpols sa mukha ko... I've had a lot of stress lately tapos madadagdagan pa ng salitang "wedding"???????!!!!!!!!! Hindi lang iyon ha, pati ung dalawang kanta... malaman... sa totoo lang... isa lang ang taong naiisip ko sa ngayon... at hindi ko alam paano magreact... pero anyway, past is past...
So moving on, my ZITS... grabe, in my 26 years of existence.. N.A.K.A.K.A.L.O.K.A!!!!!!!! hindi lang nakakadagdag sa stress na dala ng aking data gathering kundi pati na rin ang sakit na dulot sa mukha ko... feeling ko gumagapang lang ang bacteria sa ilalim na aking kutis...
Underarm wax... sa tagal ko ng nagpapawax eh aba! ngayon lang talaga ako nasaktan ng bonggang-bongga.. hindi na talaga ako ulit pupunta doon!!!!! promise!!!! ever... battered ang aking kili-kili ngayon at ako'y awang-awa... hay...
Monday, July 6, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
RANDOM STUFF...
1. Pabalik ako sa Manila galing Nueva Ecija noong Biyernes. As usual, inabot kami ng dinner sa NLEX. So Chowking ang pinili ko... So mega pila ganyan. Ung mga sumunod sa akin, noong una, akala ko mga Koreano kasi nga iba ung lengwahe. So deadma. Habang nasa pila, aba, umubo, eh feel na feel pa ng hair particles ko sa batok ang kanyang ubo... (anak ng tinola naman... eh praning pa man din ako ngayon dahil sa A H1N1 virus na yan)... kairita di ba? So deadma. Tapos na akong magbigay ng order ko... so sila naman...
"Uhm, isang order ng lauriat tsaka, BURGER..."
With all my glamour and poise, hahahah! gusto kong lingunin at sabihing "heller? mukha bang jollibee or mcdo ito?" LOL...
So, swabe akong lumingon (kunwari hindi sila ang tinitignan ko)! Ayun, mga pinay pala at iba ang ayos... so may hinala na ako kung ano sila... nang matapos akong kumain, paglabas ko... ayun nga.. tama hinala ko... may mga kaupo silang apat na hapon... =p
2. TRANSFORMERS 2! Alam niyo namang hayok ako sa sine di ba? So kasama ko si L and A na nanood (actually, take two na nila... kung hindi ba naman sila adik... )... So silence.. ganyan, simula na ang sine...
Katabi ko si A at ang katabi ni A ay mag-ina.. kakasimula pa lang ng sine eh humirit na ang nanay: "Si Optimus Prime yan oh"... sa isip-isip ko "nyah! eh hindi siya yan ah!"... eh etong si A, nairita,,, katabi lang niya eh... so sabi niya "Could you lower your voice a little bit...".. So tumahimik...
Pero wait, there's more... nagsalita ulit ung nanay, palingon pa lang si A ng remasbak ang nanay kay A... "Do you mind? I'm talking to my daughter here. Malakas ang sounds eh kaya hindi niya ako marinig..." hindi ko alam kung ilang decibels un pero
rinig iyon, five seats away... hahahaha... ako naman (sa isip-isip ko) "heller? nasa sinehan ka, what do you expect? talagang malakas ang soundz noh!". Mano lang bang mag-whisper with wings siya, di ba?
So, dahil mabait si A, lumipat na lang siya... ako din, lumipat kasi hindi ko matake na ung left ear ko eh naiistorbo... at ung right ear ko.. hindi.. lol!
3. MJ... a lot of posers got out from their shell the moment they knew that the king of pop died... Nasa odyssey kami ni A at L... namimili ng dvds nang makita nila na may isang namimili na panay MJ albums ang hawak... i mean, heller? parang nagpapanic buying ata ang mga tao ngayon...
anyway, moving on... so sabi ni L "hay naku, mga poser talaga oo..." kako, "oh, bakit naman?"... "Ate, kung fan ka na ni MJ noon pa, aba dapat may collection ka na ng album niya noh... hindi ung alam mong namatay eh ayan at nagbibibili ka..."... may point nga... =p
Thursday, June 18, 2009
ANG UMAGAW SA AKING UPUAN...
So boarding ganyan, pasok. As usual, excited ako (kahit ubod ang reklamo ko na mahirap ang magbyahe ng magisa). Aba! At nang makita ko ang aking upuan. MAY NAKAUPO NA... So sabi ko "that's my seat, my seat number is 35 K", sumagot ang lalaki "ah, yes, see it's K..." sabay turo sa letrang nakatapat sa kanyang ulo... aba... alam ko .. un nga di ba? K? in short, UPUAN KO YAN... so, dahil mabait ako at ayaw ko ng gulo (dahil nakakasira ng ganda), hinayaan ko siya... so goodbye window seat...
Pero, wait, there's more. I just don't get this "stealing" but also free "annoyance"... Aba, eh di may arm rest ganyan... so dahil ako'y nagbabasa, gusto kong balanse ang aking libro sa kamay, aba! ang lolo mo ay nilagay din ang kamay sa gitnang arm rest! (sa susunod dapat hiwalay talaga ang mga upuan!)... eh di siyempre, nagkiss ang aming mga siko (like, ewwww....).... so dahil irita na nga ako, eh talaga namang sinasagad ang pasyensya ko... so inalis ko ang kamay ko, aba, inalis rin niya! ABA .... mukhang away ata gusto nito... so hinayaan ko.. then maya-maya, nagsalita siya ng mag-isa.. (hindi ko sure kung kausap niya ung tao sa harap)... so ayan... nasagot ang mga katanungan ko...
Pero wag ka, eto pa... eh di siyempre, 5 oras lang tulog ko... kapag ganun, eh ehem.. lubayan si loumeng... so gusto kong matulog ganyan, as in nakukuha ko na tulog ko, aba! close-open ung window... !!!! kaloka talaga... ever!
Wish ko lang... sana hindi ganito pagbalik ko sa Luzon... sana, gwapo na mabait na friendly ang makakatabi ko...
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
TRAVEL
Masaya ang maglakbay. Ang sumakay sa eroplano. Un nga lang kasi, minsan, ngaragan din, kailangang gumising ng maaga pero ang pinakamasaklap ay ang bumiyahe nang magisa... Wala kang makausap. Pinapatay mo ang oras na nakatunganga ka... Ang mahirap rin kasi minsan kapag nakatanga ka, naprapraning ka rin kasi kung anu-ano ang pwedeng pumasok sa isip mo...
Eh sa may ipod or mp3 naman kaso... mabibingi ka or masisira naman ang tainga mo kung lumagpas ka ng isang oras kakarinig ng kanta.
Eh sa may cellphone, maglaro ka or di kaya magtext? Okey sana kung unli eh kung sa kuripot ako sa load?
Eh sa may libro... eh di magbasa... pwede... un nga lang kasi minsan, ang mga librong gusto kong basahin eh mas malaki pa kaysa sa wallet ko...
Eh kung ung maliit? ah eh.. pwede rin... pero anong libro?
Ganyan ang mga kapraningan ko kung nagbibiyahe ng magisa... Minsan naman gusto kong maging friendly sa seatmate ko... kaso sabi ng tita ko "Don't talk to strangers"... hahahaha... Ah, basta, bahala na nga lang si batman...
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
2-6
As I look at the clock right now, it's barely 35 minutes before it strikes 12... and yep, JUNE 4 sets in...
Unlike my past birthdays, I have something planned for THE BEST DAY EVER IN MY LIFE... but right now... I have no idea... lol! I mean, when I say plan, plan for myself at least.. it's the only day in the year when I just like to be thinking about myself... hehehe.. anyway, so, first, I'll go get myself enrolled for first semester, submit my grades... then... I really don't know.. well, dinner's planned. That's it... ah! maybe find a SIMS installer somewhere...
Turning 26 is quite freaky... I mean 4-5 years before I get erased from the calendar... Now I know what "mid-life crisis means"...
Anyway, there are lots of things I am thankful for...
1. Grace and Mercy.
2. 26 years of breathing.
3. Family.
4. True Friends.
5. Traveling.
6. Shared laughters. Shared tears.
7. New loves...
8. Broken strings... (love the song!)
9. Sanity.
10. Tough stomach.
To complete everything, things that I hope for:
11. Grace and Mercy.
12. Health.
13. Protection.
14. A Canon DigiSLR camera
15. A pair of havaianas (slim, size 5.5)
16. umbrella... (hehehe...)
17. balloons!
18. pizza! (stuff crust)
19. more travel! (hehehe... parang hindi takot sa H1N1 eh)...
20. my own house.
21. my own car.
22. save enough to buy myself a husband... (hahaha, takot maiwan eh.. hahahaha)...
23. enough sleep... (back to my eight hours...)
24. have my own business... (charut.. libre mangarap! walang kokontra!).
25. bonggang birthday bash! (pang-kids ba?)
26. SIMS installer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
there you have it... things to thank and hope for...
x-o-x-o!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
WAITING REALLY KILLS...
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
AS IF IT WAS JUST YESTERDAY...
As if it was just yesterday when I met you, as if it was just yesterday that you sat beside me and asked me this word you barely understood, as if it was yesterday that you kept bugging me to join you for dinner, to go watch a movie, or to do something extraordinary, as if it was yesterday that you held my hand for the first time after so many months of being together, as if it was just yesterday that you stood in my defense over something... as if it was just yesterday that I got to know you inside out. AS IF IT WAS JUST YESTERDAY...
It’s just barely two weeks since you’ve been back, and you say you’re leaving again... and this time, you’ll leave me hanging, not knowing when you will be back. I knew this was coming. That was part of the deal. I had my mind ready for this... I know I will get over it... but guess what, it’s slowly sinking in... that maybe, I CAN’T... you have shown me how life is... how it should be... you taught me how life could surprise me and that all I need is to hang on... you taught me a lot of things... and that I am so grateful.
You were one of the people who have painted my life with colors unknown to men. And I don’t know if in the midst of this painting, I’ll start learning to let go even if it is yet unfinished...
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
RAIN RAIN GO AWAY...
Thursday, April 16, 2009
THE FLIGHT BACK HOME
I really had a laid-back vacation. I have to admit though that 25% of my brain kept bugging me about "your outline, your grades"... Well, it's good I had someone to snap me out of it.
The trip was worthwhile. Like any other vacation I've had, time just flies so fast. The first thing you know, I'm putting my sneakers on, then the next, am hitting the blankets.
The best part of traveling is that you get excited when the plane takes off; even an embrace from someone can't calm your anticipation. That's how it usually goes, your plans have been laid out, you have a list of things to buy, things to do, food to eat, places to visit, etc. However, sometimes, the straight road suddenly gets to a curb. Well the adage "Life never works out the way you plan" really worked for me - well, blame some minor "technical" problems.
Going home should've been the easiest for me 'coz it's still different when you speak the same language, you eat the food you've been familiar with for the last 25 years or so, not be mindful of what or how to speak, etc. But honestly, it was one of the hardest. Well, I won't go cheesy over here telling how it's going to be difficult for me not having him around.
The moment he sent me off to the airport, I was emotional of course, it would be two months or so before we get to see each other again. I wanted a hug, he knows that, but a hug is a no-no, not in their culture. After checking-in and walking towards the immigration section, I could still see his eyes stuck to me, and seeing him walk away just made my tear ducts work.
Sitting on the boarding area for more or less one hour prolonged the agony, I continued reading my book, but after five pages or so, I had to close it - this thing is just isn't working! I didn't care if people looked at me and wonder why the heck am I wearing my sunglasses at seven in the evening.
I had to compose myself at one point before I boarded the plane and thanks so much to "it's all in the head" thing, I was able to collect my wits back and put it in the right place.
So there you go, the ever wacky girl that I am.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
TO CAMBODIA AND BACK
Somewhere near Angkor Wat... (tsuri forgot the name of the temple).
The mass graves where 20,000 people were massacred and buried during Pol-pot's Regime.
The monument is where the excavated skulls and bones are kept. It was an eerie and creepy place for me. I was shivering the whole time. It's not a sight to behold, not when you see pits where some 20,000 people were massacred and buried.
Still at Kamphong Som province. At a hotel somewhere...
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
CHAOS
My life right now is like CHAOTICALLY ORGANIZED... I know what to do, it's like it's written and yet, just the act of seeing the list to do makes me go literally insane... I've been here before, and it's like, I hate being here... urgh...
For starters, it's hell week. Yep, finals. Compared to undergrads, mine's a bit tougher - read, read, read, write, write, rewrite, edit, rewrite... a never ending process.
Transfer. Yep, am moving out. It's a long story. Anyway, I found a good place near Sakay so it won't be a hassle going to class... I just have to take a jeepney though... But if my fats start to complain, a walk will also be easy...
Trip. You know how much I love to travel so am packing my bags again and am heading to Saigon then Cambodia... No need for further details... hehehe...
Bills. No need to elaborate... hehehe...
So there you have it, my life in a week...
Monday, March 16, 2009
HE JUST KNOCKS ME OFF MY FEET...
Anyway, I just want to share simple things that made me really feel like a princess even for a split of second...
1. He was waiting at the gate this morning, and when I came out, he was smiling. While walking towards him, I heard him say "I like the way you look today..." I was quite astonished 'coz he barely praises me... I mean, I was just wearing an old brown shirt and jeans....
2. He calls me PIG. Yeah, I know... Who wouldn't call me if they knew that after I eat, I snooze... LOL... It's just so weird that I find it flattering... Hahaha....
3. Most of the time, he calls me to cook dinner, of course, he's the head chef and I'm the assistant. But I found it weird today that he didn't call me.... hmmmm....
4. I thought I heard him yawn so I asked if he was sleepy, and he said "Are you?", I nod and he just lightly pinches my nose... (drooling...)
5. He always asks me what I want to eat for dinner... If I could just say... YOU.. har3 (naughty gurl...)...
Yeah, I know the mushiness is just like so ewwwwwww... but the heck, he just knocks me off my feet...
Thursday, February 19, 2009
V-DAY AT FEB FAIR '09
Anyway, before we proceed with all the mushiness, let's talk first about Feb Fair... the activities last year were far better than this year... there were more activities that would really make your butt enjoy kissing the grass on the field. I don't know, maybe because I went to the park early, around 7 pm... (oo nga naman, anong makikita mo dun sa ganoong oras...)... maybe that's why I didn't enjoy much.
So what new thing did I do this Feb Fair? uhm... Slide for Life... (harness thing kung saan isasabit ka sa isang tali at un, you cross the pool sa may Baker Hall...) and how did I end up doing that? Sothea and Daream enlisted me without my consent!!!!! (nagbayad ng 20 pesos!!!!)... anyway, it was fun... I had my eyes closed half of the time I was sliding to the end of the pool... I get to eat Cambodian (uyyy... bias....) and Indonesian food... I love the mungbean juice by the way...
I met with the original gang from last year (ate Glen and kuya Jaime)... it was fun bonding with them again... same spot. same event... so, moving on... I got roses for V-day... well, honestly, I wasn't expecting to get a bunch. I am aware that it isn't his culture to give flowers so I left it that way. But actually, I was teasing him.. hahaha.. and he even told me I should be the one to give him...
Here's the funny thing. The flowers came unexpectedly. I went to the Graduate School (GS) after my class on February 13. I hang out with some friends when the flowers were displayed in front of GS. So, much to my curiousity and love for myself, I went there asking if there were other flowers for sale coz I wanted to give some for my lovable M.E. But unfortunately, all were pre-ordered... Rosc was continuously bugging the people if there was a dozen left so she could just buy them... Much to her amazement, she saw a bunch of flowers and his name was written on it... OME!
I wasn't sure if it was for me.. hahaha... yeah, my insecurities came rushing like soldiers ready for war.. lol! anyway, I text him that I saw a bunch of long-stemmed roses and "are these for me?".. but much to my dismay, no reply. So I called Daream and told her that there were roses with his name written on it and what should we do with it... guess what she said... "Oh my, I'm suppose to go there this 4 pm to get it and give it to you later, but since you're there, take it na lang..." H.A.H.A.H.A... romantic di ba? Kaloka!
Well, came Valentines, we had an early dinner at his house enjoyed walking in the park with friends, sat on the grass for sometime and watched people drop to the pool for an hour or so...
So here goes again another "not-to-forget" event in my life... =)
Monday, February 9, 2009
MUSHY IS TURNING TWO...
Anyway, my blog is a year old now so... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! To my blog, what can I say? Thank you for being my outlet... and to my ever beloved Mushy, who's turning two on Saturday... I love you.. (yeah, I think I'm going psycho greeting my beloved bear on the web...)
What else... hmmm.. oh, valentines day is fast approaching and I've received two (to be exact) messages asking me if I had a date on that day... well.. OF COURSE I DO... plans? hmmmm... well... I teased him if he would bring me out on a usual date - flowers, candles and dinner. But he said he's not really into it. So I asked him if we would do something special together and guess what? HE'LL COOK FOR ME... weee!!! can't wait.... so this means not going out at all but just crashing at his apartment and maybe watch movies the whole day.
Can't wait for Saturday to come...
x-0-x-o
Monday, January 26, 2009
VORA VAVY!
One of the nicest sunsets I've seen...
Weeee!!!! Talk about holding a man between your fingers... LOL! Next time, I'll try the neck. Hehehe...
The Banana Boat... I had the hardest grip ever in my entire life. Now I know how it feels when they say "you are holding unto dear life... " lol...
Monday, January 19, 2009
BEES
No need to further explain why I named this entry as BEES... Aside from having a photo with THE SINGING BEE HOST, we were literally like bees looking for a flower to suck on... lol...
It started when we were waiting for our check-in time, we were squatting on the floor when Lara said "Ate, si Ceasar oh...". I was like "Where?". Actually, he was just standing right in front of me, but he was just so simple you really have to have a second look to affirm that it is really Ceasar Montano... I went to my aunt to tell her, then she had the same reaction as I did, "Where?"... LOL... anyway, at first, we were just the normal peeps not hovering like lunatics over a movie star...
When we were checking in, he was just like 10 meters away from us, my aunt already wanted to have a picture. But we were still the cheeky girls saying "ah, no need.. blah blah...". Minutes passed. While we were having breakfast, he passed by again... so I think there's the sign. But this is the best part, after a few minutes (again), he came towards near the table where we were having our breakfast, so that was it... No time for second thoughts. It's good he was gracious enough to grant our request...
Am really not into taking photos with movie stars, I hafta admit though that when you're already there, "the heck! just let me go and have his photo!"... lol!